Lately, my body feels like it’s fighting its own private war. Every morning, I wake up hoping for something different — a spark of energy, a little less pain, a sign that healing is finally catching up. But most days, my body reminds me that it’s still struggling. Muscles twitch. Nerves misfire. The fatigue sinks in deep, not just in my bones but somewhere softer, harder to reach.
People tell me I’m strong, and I know they mean it kindly. I smile and nod, because sometimes it’s easier than explaining that strength doesn’t feel like courage — it feels like endurance. It feels like breathing through another wave of pain, like whispering “you’ve got this” even when I’m not sure I do.
There are moments when I want to give up, and then there are moments — small ones — that pull me back—a kind word from John, the warmth of a cat curled at my feet. Those are the quiet victories, the little flickers of grace that make the next hour possible.
I used to think strength meant pushing through, pretending everything was okay. But maybe real strength is letting myself admit that I’m not okay — and still trying anyway. Maybe it’s holding onto hope when the body can’t hold much else.
So tonight, I’m not claiming victory. I’m not pretending this is easy.
I’m just here — trying to be strong in the only way I can: by not giving up.
